herophelia! I finally found it...

And goodness, it took me awhile...

Remember the story I mentioned at y-con - a 3x4 that contained non-con, that I liked in a really "God, that hurts" kind of way?

Here 'tis...

I don't like non-con in fanfic - most of it is gory little rape fantasies written by people who have no clue how nasty the experience they're writing about is - they tend to over-sensualize and almost glorify it. Yes, I've read Kinsey, I know that it's perfectly normal to have rape fantasies, and that having such fantasies doesn't mean that one actually wants the experience. The majority of rape fanfics strike me as redundantly juvenille and just plain silly. (You know, rape followed by the "magical healing cock" of the victim's true sweetie. Nothing like a little anal sex to make you feel all better after being gang-raped... That scenario's been written so often in 1x2 that I have to wonder if Heero has antibiotic and aestheticizing sperm... Hmm, windsorblue weren't you going to go somewhere with that once?)

But I liked this fic - it's sparse and economically written - the rape isn't described in detail (thank god). Plus, I'm a masochist, and occasionally I like a fic which pulls my guts up through my nose. This did it for me...

Okay, now I'm going to toddle back off into obscurity...

Oh, and it should go with out saying that fablespinner should in no way read this. Just don't, hon...


Bloody hell, some good news for a change!!!

Remember Jeff, the nice gay boy I enslaved for y-con? He had his sentencing yesterday, and damn, the criminal justice system worked this time!!

(For those not in the "know" Jeff worked for several years in a medical marijuana club - one that had the support of both the mayor and sheriff of LA. The feds shut them down and were hell bent on sending all involved to the Federal Pokey.)

So, if you're interested, go read here and do the happy Snoopy dance of joy with me:

San Francisco Gate Article

Herald Tribune Article

By the by, he says "Hi!" to everyone - and I'm too darn lazy to look up all the livejournal tags for you - Bast, Ro, Lorena, Oppy, and D. But he says "Howdy!!" all the same.

And the judge was a flippin' Republican - how 'bout that? I lurve that judge in a major way, especially for how he spanked the prosecutor.
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    ecstatic ecstatic

Hey, I'm too lazy to email...

or something like that, anyway...

First, hey haydenthorne I found something for you:

The Slash Cotillion - historical slash. Don't know if it's any good, but I saw it and thought of you.

Second: bearilou, darthanne, zozma. How y'all doin'? Fine, I hope. Anyhow, to the point - how are the archives you're all involved in going? Huge pain in the ass? Want an easier solution to running a fandom list archive? Here:


Check this out, specifically this page:

Links to sites using eFiction as an archive base

If you've got webspace with the appropriate things available (PHP and SQL on the server), I'd be happy to tinker with the backend for you so you can get it running. This is a nifty little program - you can set the archive to open, or make it so only admin-approved authors can post. And, you, as the site admin, no longer have to code the fics - the authors upload them in doc or txt form themselves, like ff.net. Nice, hmm?

And gee, I bet you know a few people who could make skins (the pretty backgrounds...)

Like I said, I'd be happy to do the program mods for you, and if this is anything like any other PHP driven program I've ever dealt with, then the admin interface should be easy (as in, no PHP necessary.)

Lastly: vr2lbast, the cats like to tap dance on my computer when I'm not around. Lots of strange things happen. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to walk in one day and see them IMing you... So, if you ever catch me on line and I ask for sardines, well, be a bit suspicious.
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    weird weird

I'm still alive and other uninteresting rambling...

Yep, so I made it back to home base safe and sound. I still feel minorly jet-laggy and generally blah, but that could be just because is darn cold here in comparison to Cali...

I came home to a lay-off letter, which is both a relief and distressing at the same time. So much for insurance, but now I'll have time to scan dj covers for the store and maybe even fit in another con before the end of the year.

I'm not doing a con report, mostly because I didn't do any "con" things. (Although I wish I'd gone to the bish auction! Mrowwww!) It was a learning experience, and on that level, all good. Besides, when I look back at all the things that went "wrong" I'm ever so greatful they didn't go wronger (that's so not a word...) I will take this opportunity to express my deepest gratitute to the folks that let me use them as indentured servants for the weekend - haydenthorne, fablespinner, herophelia, vr2lbast, Ro, and Jeff. I would have been ten times crazier without you lovely people there...

Okay, now, the majority of you will probably want to skip this cut - it's full of HP recs. And Snarry ones, at that...Collapse )

Alright, and fics that need no warning away - you can appreciate these even if you don't read the fandoms:

Hogwarts Rehabilitated - Harry's a slut, Snape's a teamwork councelor, Lupin makes "special" brownies, Ginny's sharing her body with a young Tom Riddle, and Voldemort's "soul name" is "Fucking Dogs." The fics are hysterical, and the cast page is snicker-worthy, to say the least. (Snaple's illustrations - hee!)

The Bagenders - sacreligious LOTR. Damn funny, too...

Okay, I feel a nap coming on.
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    blah blah

Y-con and other ramblings...

Well, first off - Hey, everyone!! How's life? I'd know if I'd had the time to read anyone's ljs in the last 5 months, but here's hoping you're all still alive and kicking. And to everyone that asked, Dad's doing much, much better - he's got a pace maker now and is able to do a lot more, which makes him, and by extension, the rest of the family, very, very happy.

And second, a big hearty "Whew!!" - it was touch and go for a bit on actually getting the time off from my job to go to the con. Nevermind that I officially requested the time back in May. Point is, frustration and much head-against-the-wall-banging aside, I'M GOING. Woot.

As that great sage, Rosanna Rosanna Danna, was oft known to say "If it's not one thing, it's another."

(The job absolutely sucks, btw, but that's a rant, and I don't feel like ranting. Well, the job doesn't suck, but the majority of the staff is far, far kookier than the patients, and man, that's saying something...)

Okay, and here my life takes a huge veering detour into the surreal...

See, I was whining to my dear ol' Dad about not knowing if I could get the time off. I even threatened to quit the job. And then he guilted the hell out of me about that - you know, "Jobs are hard to find. Think of the insurance." and general, sensible, parental things like that...

But then I said the family buzz word - money - and bemoaned how much I've got invested in the con. Dad gets this peculiar, thought-perculating look on his face, and a short while later, presents me with a solution.

"You know," he began, "Your mother likes to travel. At the drop of a hat."

I, not even believing where this conversation is going, simply reply with a startled, "Huh?"

"She'd go for you, you know."

And I make big watery, chibi eyes at Pops as I tremble my bottom lip in a pout best suited on the face of a three year old. "But I wanna go!!!"

To which he just says, "Well, think about it."

So, I thought about it. And asked her. And then she proceeded to jump on it like a duck on a June bug (hee - I love colloquialisms), calling people she knows in the SF area, and making plans. And getting really darn excited about it...

So, when I found out I am getting the time off, I couldn't exactly tell her no, could I? Especially since she's offered to pay her own way, and to sit the booth while I run about doing fangirly things.

Of course, there was the strange, strange, and even stranger conversation in which I had to explain to my mother exactly what I was selling (doujinshi) and what the con was about.

"So," sez she, "It'll be kind of like a flea-market set-up, but I'll be selling smut."

"Yeah, gay smut."

"Oh, I thought it was women at this convention."

"It is..."

"So, I'll be selling lesbian smut?"

"No, gay smut. You know, boy on boy?"

"To gay women?"

"Well, Mom, I usually don't inquire as to my customers' sexual preference, but most of them are heterosexual women who like gay smut."

"Straight women want to buy comic books about males having sex?"

"Hey, guys get off on lesbians!" And then, in weak attempt to lend some legitimancy to the concept. "If you look at it from a sociological perspective, it's actually quite - "

"Don't try to explain. I'll just leave the books in the wrappers and count the money."

I'm still trying to decide if this conversation was worse than the one wherein I had to explain to my Grandmother exactly what all that "fellatio" stuff was in connection to the Clinton scandal. (And I'm damn glad she didn't ask about the cigar...)

So, if you happen to go to Y-con, and wander by my booth, say "Hi, Mom!" to the round blonde lady who'll be steadfastly reading a good, wholesome mystery and ignoring all the strange goings on...

Things I've been forgetting:

Ophelia! Just bring your id to the con, no need to pre-reg or prove your age ahead of time...

Ruth! Thanks for the e-card. Hee, Muppets!! Perked me right up! I've been thinking about all of you, too.

And would someone tell Ash she's welcome to crash with in one of my rooms on Sunday night, I lost her email...

And now for something completely (well, not quite) different...Collapse )

And for now, I'll leave you with an amusing ancedote...

Just the other night, I'm sitting around at work, in the "dayroom" (where the tv and comfy chairs are...) Most of the staff and patients are in the same room. One of my absolute favorites comes and sits next to me, and after giving me a conspiritorial wink, booms out in a loud, deep voice, "NO-ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

Which sends the PTS (post-traumatic stress syndrome) patients scrambling for cover, several staff members scrambling for thorazine, and leaves me literally laid out on the floor laughing so hard I can 't breath....

Okay, my job does have it's moments...
  • Current Music
    Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim

And speaking of Y-con

Who's going to be there Thursday night? (Besides the people I'm dragging with me, I mean...)

Dinner, anyone? My lovely slaves (No, I didn't say "love slaves," D. Don't pout, we'll work something out later... ^_~) and I will be doing setup in the dealers room until 8 or 9, but after that...

Windsor? Suzume? (And Ms. Sparrow, didn't I hear a rumor about the other Ms. Blue attending this year's festivities?) Lorena?

Thai food? Greek? Pizza on a hotel room floor?

I don't care, let's just all get together and act like fools...
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    hyper hyper

er.... I'm alive....

As requested, I'm posting here to let those interested know that I am, indeed, still breathing. I do believe that the rest of my bodily functions are also intact, but I haven't had much time to check, lately.

Is it Y-con yet?

And could someone pass me a beer? Or maybe just a straight shot of vodka... Perhaps a sledgehammer would work best.

Oooh, look!!! I'm alive...

Hey all...

Yep, I'm still alive. Someone remind me again why I was so desperate to find a fulltime job? Oh, that's right - the pesky double digit balance in my bank account... (Okay, it wasn't quite that bad, but it was getting there.)

The job, in and of itself, isn't bad, but it sucks up my time in an unbelievable manner. The straight 40 a week would be bad enough, but there's also heaps of manditory overtime involved...

What am I currently doing, you may ask? Well, in this glorious economy, my BA (magna cumme laude) and 24 credits of grad school were virtually useless. (Okay, I could have had a job in my field for $8 an hour...) So, I fell back on previous experience and am now gainfully employed as a psychiatric nursing assistant at the local Veterans' Administration hospital.

Yep, I'm finally in the funny farm...

But hey, where else can you get paid $11 + an hour for playing Spades? (Okay, and I'm majorly trivializing what I do...)

And I must apologize, if I owe you any correspondance, you won't be seeing it anytime soon. Besides the job, my dad just got a pace-maker, so I've taken over all the heavy lifting duties in their household, and my other grandmother (not the one who was sick last summer) is doing poorly with her congestive heart failure. So, what little free time I do have, I've no claim to...

In the midst of all this, I managed to find time to go on a date yesterday, which did nothing more than reinforce my conviction that I'm simply not meant for the world of romanitcal type relationships. It wasn't a crashing horror or anything - the guy was nice, did nothing gross or offensive, the conversation was good, movie viewing as part of a pair rather than alone was fun, but the whole thing just did nothing for me... And if I can't get excited about dating a nice-looking, polite, gainfully-employed, all around "good-catch" of a guy, I don't think I should even bother with the whole mess. I'll leave him to some deserving young thing with homemaking stars in her eyes and continue with my peaceful, solitary type existance. And don't even say it was just the wrong guy - I could happily see myself engaging in recreational sex with him - the chemistry is there - I just don't want the rest of it. (The rest being the part that involves a long courtship leading to marriage...) So, when he asks me out again, I'll give him the "just friends" speech and even leave out the tempting offer of being "fuck-buddies" because I know he's looking for more, and that just wouldn't be fair to him... Hmm, when the hell did I grow up to be so noble?

Argh... is it October yet? I want to wallow in the glory of Y-con and forget about real-life responsibilities for a few glorious bish-soaked days...

Someday, when I have both the time and the motivation (HAH!) I'll write up a scathing review of Matrix Reloaded, a movie I actually enjoyed, but felt had some major, major flaws...
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    busy busy

Saddam trying to be a bishie, Pt. II

Hee... okay, so tonight I get called out in a mild ice storm for a "computer emergency!!!" (I've been doing some freelance tutoring/setup kind of work for computer idjits...) The poor woman was frantic "I've tried loading the same program from cd 5 times now, but everytime the installation completes, it's just not there!!!" She sounded desperate, and wouldn't take "tomorrow" for an answer - so I drive 15 miles over ice-slicked roads to discover that she's neglected to go to the start button and open her Program folder - which of course, is where the newly installed program resides...

The kicker? For as desperate as she sounded, you'd think it was something she needed for work, or perhaps a step-by-step guide for an "do-it-yourself" tracheotomy....

But no, it was the "Sims..."

And then she didn't want to pay me, because, after all - "You charge by the hour, and that didn't even take you a minute!!" After I calmly explained what an inconvience it was for me to come to her house, after 9 pm, and how much a "real" tech would have charged her for a house-call, she grudingly agreed to hand over my exorbinate $10.00 fee if I would stay for the rest of the hour to give her some tutoring... So, now I've unleashed another fool on eBay. I'm sure I've done someone a favor - she's the type to bid $100.00 on a $2.00 item simply because she wants to win, damn it!!

But on an entirely different note - I came home and leafed through the rest of "World News Weekly" and found this lovely strip of photos. So to beat a probably terminal horse for a few more chuckles...

here ya go...

Now, for a beer. I think I deserve one, don't you? And not just any beer, mind - heh, this is the King of all Scottish Ales - the kind of beer you can eat with a knife and fork. Yum!!

(And you know, I think he looks kind of like Freddie Mercury in that middle shot...)
  • Current Music
    I Wanna be Sedated - Ramones

Oh, Windsor...

Today, whilst embarked on a gloriously tedious grocery shopping expedition with my Grandmother, I saw something that made me think of you...

Be aware of my fragile state of mind when I happened to look over in the check out lane and catch a glimpse - circumstance has conspired with Murphy, and together, they've made sure that I only got to sleep 6 hours out of the last 50. I'm tired, and was wanting nothing more than the comfort of a warm bed for about 7 solid hours. And I'm going there, but first I just had to share


with you... (I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe for a few minutes, which of course made me laugh harder...)

And how are those dangerous plot bunnies feeling now? Actually, I think it's a conspiracy - someone at the Weekly World News must be reading your lj...

And now I bid you all a fond goodnight.

(Just be thankful I'm stopping here - ask raletha)
  • Current Music
    I'm So Tired - The Beatles